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Returning Mother’s Smile After Father’s Passed Away Forever
Fimela.com, Jakarta There is always a story behind every smile, especially a mother’s smile. In life, we must have memorable stories about our beloved mothers. For those who are now mothers, we also have our own experiences related to the smiles we give to our dear ones. Telling the figure of a mother always brings something special to our hearts together. Like the writing sent by Fimela’s Friends in the following Mother Smile Story Contest. *** By: Raistamala Nediasani “Wow, if the boy is the son of the mother, the girl is the son of the father,” I have heard that sentence since I was little. That sentence was firmly planted in my mind since I was little. That sentence that keeps me away from my mother. Physically I look like my father, not like my mother. Nobody even believed that my brother and I were siblings. This condition was exacerbated by the treatment of my father who spoiled me enough. As I grew older, the more awkward I was with my mom, the more awkward it was when I was alone with my mom. Often when we were forced to walk together, we were just silent, not knowing what to say to break the ice. No, I’m not unhappy with you, just awkward to say. Since long time ago, every time there was a problem, I always told my father, not mother. On April 4, 2020, my father was called by God suddenly, without any symptoms and with a very fast process. Mother is a very lost person, and so am I. My heart is hurt deeply, but only I know. I closed the wound tightly from other people. Other people know that I can quickly treat my wounds, even though it still hurts. Being left by my father not only left me scars, but also left a dilemma. My sister is married and lives some distance from my house. I automatically live alone with my mother after my father’s death. It’s hard to fight the awkwardness. Even on the first night my father died, I felt uncomfortable because I had to sleep alone with my mother, the second night I chose to sleep alone. It’s hard to cover it up, but I realize that now I am the biggest support for mother. Since my father died, my mother has not had much to say about what she felt, and neither have I. We save our own stories. I made an escape with a very busy work, while the mother did not do much activity. The more days I get over my awkwardness. Like it or not, I often go alone with my mother. Trying to make mom heal from her wounds. Trying to make him smile. Month after month, I think I’ve done enough to make mom feel happy. But I was wrong. Everything is not what it seems. The Sorrow of a Believer Mother Alone Early December, God tested us again. Mother was exposed to Covid-19. We are self-isolating. For almost a month the mother’s illness did not show any significant improvement. The symptoms of Covid19 are gone, but they often suddenly drop, get cold sweat and then have shortness of breath. Dozens of times to the doctor and emergency room, still nothing changes. Once upon a time my mother insisted on asking to be hospitalized because she was bored at home. I didn’t allow it for fear that my mother was not mentally prepared for the current hospital situation. After arguing at length, I finally allowed it, and suddenly my mother became very strong and eager to prepare the items to be taken for the hospitalization. Since then I thought that my mother was sick not because of medical reasons, but psychologically. The hospital failed to be taken because I managed to persuade him to return. Since then I tried to get closer to my mother, trying to talk to her deeply. Finally, my mother revealed that she had been lonely since her father’s death. Exacerbated by the presence of Covid-19, mothers are increasingly unable to go anywhere. The peak is when my mother is exposed to Covid-19, a month only in the room, rarely interacting with anyone, including me. I’m lonely, I’m bored, I’m bored. I feel so guilty. I was too focused on treating my own wounds while busy working, but I forgot that mom was just as hurt as me. Now all the ways I do to make mom happy, because I know your medicine to recover only needs to be happy. I took my mother to a psychologist, to a spiritual advisor, ask for prayers here and there, I often took my mother for walks around the city, often made video calls to relatives, and all the methods I tried were just to make mom happy. For a moment, I realized that I was psychologically ill, maybe you were already in a quite severe stress level. Every time I see mom smile my heart is happy, every time I see mom drop my heart hurts. Mom, sorry I was disobedient to you. Sorry I was mean to you. Sorry I was someone else to you. But now, let’s live this life together, let’s treat wounds together. Get better, Mom, I still need your smile. Let’s live happily. Save your smile until my children see that smile, Mom. I’m not just your father’s son, I’m your mother’s son too. Maybe I’m not good at expressing my love for you, but I really love you. Don’t feel lonely anymore, don’t feel alone anymore, I have here. #ElevateWomen